A friend of mine sent an email to me about 28 lessons life taught her. Trust me, when i say i am not among those people who read long emails. I will just skim through it and get an idea. It was at least a 3 page long email and to my surprise I read it all and was able to relate to it as well. I want to express a couple of those lessons in my own words. The reason i am writing this article today is I want myself to remember always as how important some of those lessons truly are.
1. Hang on to real friends This one is easy. My personal experience is that It is easy to make friends but difficult to maintain. The one who puts a condition with the relation is never into it because friendship is not always give and take. It needs to be unconditional. Just like love, sometimes friendship can also be one sided. Friends should be like LIC – Zindagi ke saath bhi, zindagi ke baad bhi..thanks to the one who taught me this!
2. Ditch those people who you thought were friends, but weren’t. Well I am the kind who will not forgive someone who betrayed my trust but I will also remember that once I thought that was my real friend and my above rule may apply that it needs to be unconditional but that doesnt give anyone the right to betray my trust. You are the ultimate judge for yourself.
3. Let go of relationships when they end. Not all relationships will last forever. I will just silently agree with this one and we all know that we have to let everyone go one day. It’s just a matter of time.
4. Don’t bring up the past. Thinking about the past is not wrong, they do hold beautiful memories of life. I proudly accept that I do think of one beautiful memory of my past every day before I sleep, the past being anytime from my childhood till yesterday. The lesson here is not ‘to let go of past’ it’s just not to bring it up. It hurts when you compare your past with present. We need to realize we all are unique and every person we deal with in day to day life is unique.
5. Treasure your family more than anything else in life. Well, i don’t think we need to argue about this one 🙂
6. Honour your mother. Everyone loves their mother, but there is a slight difference between loving and honoring. Think what all she sacrificed to get you this life and then you will honor her in your dreams too. Trust me this thought comes the most when she is not around and it hurts that I always end up finding the mistake on my side.
7. Treat your partner better than anyone else. They deserve that treatment for everything they have done for you. The bottom line is try to make every life you touch, a happy one, at least till you are around, the partner’s being the first.
8. Go to sleep prepared not to wake up. Because one day, you won’t. Say “Sorry” or “I love you” or “I miss you” and definitely “Goodnight” to whomever it means to be said every night before you go to sleep. Say it when you can. If you need a reminder listen to this beautiful song ‘kal ho na ho’ (and I still cry every time because I wish I’d stayed with Laika in that room where she came to give me company and never woke up after that)
9. Fight only the fights worth fighting. Before you pick up a fight with someone fight with your ego and see if it’s even worth a fight. What are you losing? Are you gaining ANYTHING? If there is only loss, then is the loss worth the pain you give and take? Fight only for a gain, not for a loss.
10. Sweep in front of your own door. Basically clean your self up, before you point fingers on ohers. Easily said than done, wont you agree?
11. Grow back stronger. After i met with an accident and got a one foot long blood clot on my leg, it took approximately an year for it to disappear and nearly 3 years for it to strengthen and get back to normal until which it pained everytime it would be slightly touched. After that, it became stronger than before. It’s useful to remember this when other things break too, like our hearts.
12. Healing takes time. In a world that moves at lightening speed and wants everything instantly, can we not wish wounds heal faster than normal? Is there no technology for that? I cannot agree more with myself. But sometimes its best when it takes time because time teaches and heals. If you were instantly healed you would never learn the lesson and end up making the same mistake.
13. Accept full responsibility. Be accountable for what you have done, good or bad. You will never be able to influence your relationships with people untill you think It has to start with me.
14. Give back. While you are here, give it back. Be it love, respect, affection, a kiss, a hug or whatever it is. And you are mistaken if you think this has to be only a positive give back since we are talking about all philosophical stuff. No, Sometimes you have to do negative things also as part of the ‘give back’ policy. The lessons learnt are from real life and real life cannot be ideal. Sometimes you learn it the hard way.
15. Believe in God, or at least something close. Be religious or spiritual. Either will help in the long run when you are trying to find an answer for an unexplainable situation. It feels good to believe that there is someone who cannot be seen but is probably listening. That belief gives us a hope that one day an answer will come. And it always comes. It just may not be in your favor this time but never stop believing for that reason because everything happens for a reason that is good.
16. Send yourself roses. The idea is to treat yourself. This is the least you can do for all the pain you go through, be it physical, mental or emotional. If you are lucky someone will send you flowers to see that smile on your face, to thank you for being there, to say good morning. There are many reasons. If not, you may have to buy flowers for yourself 🙂
17. Be grateful. Be grateful to everyone who touched your life and helped you become a better person.