A reason to live

Hindi version first, then English below along with my painting…

Image from Seema Pillay

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Clear your mind, your heart istrying to tell you something
                                   – Anonymous
Hindi version…
Wajah diye ja…
Ab khud pe bhi ehasaan nahi karte hum
Ki ehsaan bhi ehasaan farahmosh ho gaye hain
Zubaan bhi hoti hai inki, ye kise maloom tha
Hum to jaise apne hi dil mein mehmaan se ho gaye hain
Sukoon to uske aagosh mein bhi mil sakta tha
Par wo hamari khamoshi ko inkaar samajhne lage
Ye zaruri to nahi ki hum maut ki duaa maangte
Par ab hum unke inkaar ko wajah si dene lage hain
 
Nasha ho bhi aur nahi bhi ye mumkin to nahi
Par aapki wafa ka bhi lihaaz rakhna tha
Itni guzaarish thi ki ab koi ehsaan na reh jaye
Aakhir apni khwaishon ka khayal bhi to rakhna tha
 
Khayal aa hi gaya wafaon ka, Jawaab de hi diya duaaon ne
Apni nazron mein gunehgaar na ban jayen
Par ab unki nazron me bhi izzat kama li thi
Par ye bhi kabhi hua hai
Ki do gaam chalen manzil k liye aur manzil aa jaye?
Ittefaq ki baat hai ki rukh badal gaya hawaon ka
To mere dil guzre ka gamm na kiye ja
Ye kasoor to tha kambakht wafaon ka
Ab to bas gumraah kar k jeene ki wajah diye ja
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English version…
I don’t do any favors on myself anymore
For they are lacking the gratefulness, i adore
I am shocked to see they have strength of their own
The heart that was once mine, now out I have been thrown
 
Although there was a sign of relief in his embrace
But my silence got him lost in a maze
It’s not that i have given up on my life yet
But I am becoming the reason for all denials and regrets.
 
It wasn’t possible to love and still being able to hate
I had to pay you the respect for your loyalty, my mate
I am begging not to drop any more favours at my gate
I have some duty towards my wishes too, before it’s too late…
 
Oh lord my loyalty has been noticed
My prayers have been answered
Donot make me a culprit in my own eyes
So my dear heart, Stop regretting the past
Loyalty had played mind game with us
Go on mislead me and give me a reason to live in this vast…